WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP TO CHANGE?

that is what learning is.  You suddenly understand something you’ve understood all your life, but in a new way.     

                                            —Doris Lessing


       What is your relationship to change?  Do you run and hide from it?  Do you bury your head in the sand until it goes away?

 

    That’s exactly what I did for most of my life.  I despised change, especially when it came to my schedule.  I wanted it always to be the way it always had been.  Well, that was never going to happen because that is one of the things we can be sure of….that change will happen.

 

    I would resist is, I would get into a pissy mood about the change and I would have a bit of a tantrum about it.  Real grown up of me, right?

 

    Here’s what I’ve come to learn about change.  It will happen and there is nothing we can do about it.  You can bank on change happening.  So there was only one thing I could do.  And that was to embrace it.  

 

    What???? That’s right, I learned to embrace change.  Because we are always changing.  We are always having new experiences and new experiences bring about new ways of seeing things.  And that is when changes happens.  

 

    We have literally been changing all of our lives.  I am not the same as I was 10 year ago, 5 years ago or even last week.  But if the changes we desire to make in ourselves are small enough we don’t even realized we have changed. 

 

    I can recall just a couple of years ago my husband wanted to move to a different house at the beach.  I dug my heals in and say NO WAY!  I had lived at that house for 31 years.  I had made friends with my neighbors and did not want to leave.  Even though it was so small we were  tripping over each other.  

 

    Now two years later, we have purchased a larger beach house and I learned a very valuable lesson.  What I had in the old house was brought into the new house and this experience of being here is more than I could have imagined.  Made new friends that are amazing, we have more room in this house and are able to have everyone in the family, including friends stay with us.  And that experience has been miraculous.  

 

    I have learned that if you are afraid of change, you are limiting yourself.  If I had stayed in the smaller house, I would never have had the experience of having  my brother come from Arizona to stay with us for the week, along with friends and more family.  It was a truly wonderful time and I will forever be grateful for having everyone together.

 

    If you are resistance to change, let me help you see it for what it really is.  Change helps us grow.  Change teaches us valuable lessons.  Change changes us into what our Higher Power wants us to become.  

 

    There is a reason we change and if we are not changing then we are stagnant and that is no way to live.

 

    If this is something you are dealing with, why not reach out to me for support.  I’ve gone through it and I can help you go through it also.  

 

    I am opening up 3 spots in my schedule for a COMPLIMENTARY CLARITY CALL.  A value of $100.00 for FREE to the first three women who reach out to me.  Call, text, email but do not delay.  This offer will only be for 48 hours.  That mean by Thursday at 10:00pm est will the offer be open.  609-634-2764 or susie@ageperfection.com

ARE YOU A PEOPLE PLEASERS?

f you spend your life pleasing others, you spend your life.  Cheryl Richardson


     Well, right here right now, I can unequivocally tell you I was a people pleaser and it was not fun.

     When I went on my transformation journey I had to go deep into myself and question why I was a people pleaser.  Of course I wanted people to like me.  But I was doing so much for other people at the expense of myself.  

     Here’s what I discovered about why I was a people pleaser.

 

  • I had a very low self-esteem. I wanted to fit in with the crowd, at school and even at home. I thought others would like me more if I pleased them. This also showed me that I cared more about what others thought of me than what I thought about myself.

 

  • I was always searching for approval from others. I wasn’t strong enough in knowing who I was and to approve of myself and that sent me on a path of getting approval from others. This my friend, is a very empty path to be on. I had lost who I was and became a chameleon in order to fit in with the group.

            

                    “Authenticity is the daily practice of willing to let go of who we think we’re supposed to be and embracing who we are.”     Brene Brown

 

  • No one ever really knew the real me, because I didn’t know the real me. Who was I if I was always changing to fit in in order to be liked. I didn’t have a REAL ME. I was so busy doing for others and hoping they liked me I never developed a sense of acceptance for myself.

 

  • This self inquiry showed me that I was a perfectionist. I always had to be perfect. And I am here to tell you THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS BEING PERFECT! Again I was doing so much to please others and it was exhausting. And what did I gain from it? Nothing.


    But here is the good news.  I AM NO LONGER A PEOPLE PLEASER.  I have found who I am and what I desire.  People pleasing is a very unhealthy behavior.  It is disempowering, inauthentic and extremely time and energy consuming.  I found myself and now know how to  be myself.  Even if I am different, it’s ok, because I love who I am and am able to set boundaries around what I want and don’t want to do.  

 

            “It’s not your job to like me; it’s mine.     Byron Katie

 

    This did not happen overnight.  Oh no!  It took a long time to change myself and others expectation of myself.  I was now not  always on call to drop what I was doing and help someone out.  Don’t get me wrong, I still help my friends and family and even strangers out, but not at the expense of myself.

 

    I am telling you about my journey to be visible and vulnerable, because I know there are others who might be reading this and saying, “She’s talking about me.”  

    

    Well, if I can stop being a people pleaser, so you can.  My programs are for people who need to find themselves, who need to develop a deeper, more meaningful relationship with themselves and to be able to say NO to others in order to be more respectful to themselves.

 

    If this is YOU, then please take advantage of the TWO openings I am creating in my schedule to have a private phone conversation with you but here’s what you need to do. 

 

        1.  PICK UP THE PHONE AN CALL ME AND SCHEDULE A CLARITY CALL.  (REMEMBER THERE ARE ONLY TWO SPOTS OPEN AND THEY GO QUICKLY. (THIS OFFERS ENDS ON THURSDAY AUGUST 22 AT 5PM EST.)

 

        2.  DO IT NOW!   Not later, not tomorrow, NOW.  Make today the day you break the cycle of pleasing others and not yourself.

 

        3.  MY PHONE NUMBER IS 609-634-2764 to schedule your COMPLIMENTARY CALL.  That’s right, it’s free!    You know why?  I am passionate about helping others become the best version of themselves and that means loving themselves and knowing themselves.  And having a coach like me, re who had already done the work, puts you on a fast track to transformation. 

 

     IT WILL BE THE BEST THING YOU HAVE EVER DONE FOR YOURSELF.  GUARANTEED!

WHAT IS HAPPINESS ALL ABOUT?

 How about this topic, happiness.  And what is it all about?  I have been thinking about this question quite a bit through the summer and I will give you Susie Procini’s guide to happiness.  Now I am not an authority on this topic by any means.  I will tell you that I am a happy person, but it was not always that way.

 

    I’m sure everyone can say they didn’t have the perfect childhood, myself included.  But I came through that with a sense of what makes me happy and to this very day, I am always working on my own personal happiness.  Yes, it is something I believe you must cultivate.  

 

    If this information isn’t new to you, please just roll with it.  It can always be a good reminder if you know it already.

 

    Happiness does not come from outside of ourselves.  It’s not the cars, the house, the vacations, the keeping up with the Jones’.  You may gain pleasure from those things but that is NOT happiness.  People are always trying to attain pleasure from external sources and they are then confusing it with happiness.

 

    The other thing with pleasure vs. happiness is that when you are trying to find it outside of yourself, and then you receive it, you still are not happy.  When those external items you are chasing after bring you pleasure, you will find that pleasure is not satisfied and the chase to bring in more to your life will continue.

 

    The TRUE meaning of happiness is an inside job.  You really have to begin to excavate the layers of yourself and get to the core of your very being.  I myself have been on that exact journey for the past 12 years.  

 

    I have been graciously gifted with everything that should bring happiness to a person.  But through my work with a mentor I came to realize that there were things in place in my core self that was blocking my happiness.  

 

    One of the things that blocks happiness is anger and unforgiveness.  When we have these things I call “shadows,” is when we are not in our essential selves.   These shadows must be release, cleared, let go of and we need to take personal responsibility for what we are holding on to for whatever reason.

 

    That is the work I have been doing.  Taking personal responsibility for the feelings I have and the blame I have been putting on others.   I have gotten to the point in my life where this is definitely not what I want to have taking up space in my body, mind and spirit.  

 

    So now that we have gotten that out of the way, what can we do to bring ourselves more happiness?

 

    1.  MEDITATE - Meditation has helped me to know my true essential self and release what no longer serves me.   Meditation is training your “happy muscles.”  When you are meditating you bring your mind into a state of happiness and you gain more control over yourself.  It does not happen instantly.  It has to be done consistently and you need to develop a habit of doing it.  But it works.  I have been consistently meditating for over six months and I am amazed at the results I am gaining.  Try it!

 

    2.  FORGIVE - Learn to forgive others.  This will help teach you compassion and understanding.  Offense, hatred and rage give birth to suffering and frustration.  Love, kindness and forgiveness gives birth to happiness.

 

    3.  TAKE PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY - Stop blaming others for your circumstances.  Stop thinking and talking about how bad everything is around you.  Can you change anything with these thoughts? NO!  Take the steps you need to change.

 

    4.  FIND YOUR PASSION - I’m not talking about your job, I’m talking about what you have been put on this earth to do to make it a better place.  Think deeply about this.

 

    5.  FIND THE POSITIVE FROM EVERY EXPERIENCE - Everything in life is here to teach you something.  Life doesn’t happen TO YOU, it happens FOR YOU!  Find out what you are meant to learn from that experience.

 

    

    As a Women’s Empowerment Coach, this is exactly what I help women do.   I teach them how to find who they truly are and how to navigate the changes they are meant to take and I make those steps as small as possible so it doesn’t feel so overwhelming.  

 

WHAT IS A WOMEN'S EMPOWERMENT COACH?

So maybe you are asking yourself, “Susie, what the heck is a women’s empowerment coach?   Do you teach a new workout to make women more powerful?  Do you teach women how to become more powerful than men?  Susie, are you coaching the women’s Olympic weightlifting team?

 

The answer to those questions are No, No and NO!!!!   Women’s empowerment is nothing like that and I want to clear up the confusion about what it IS!!

I came to his type of coaching because I was finding that pretty much all of the women I was health coaching needed to be empowered.  And by empowered I mean, finding their full potential.  Asking questions like, “Who am I?” and “Who do I want to be?” 

By asking these type of questions, you begin to uncover and understand who you are, and the more you begin to understand who you are, the more you are able to understand life and that life becomes easier and it allows you to see what you are meant to to.

There are so many women I  come into contact with who are so busy doing things that they loose sight of the essential things they need to be doing to live a joy filled life.  And quite honestly that might mean to be doing less.  WHATT?  What do you mean doing less.

Yes,  doing less is exactly what I mean about being empowered.  By assessing what is most important to you, what fills you up, and releasing what drags you down and releasing that.

You most certainly don’t want to get to the end of your life and realize there was another way - perhaps a better way.  You want your life to mean something RIGHT NOW! 

Let’s stop all of the BUSY-NESS and get to the bottom line here.  You don’t get a take over when you get to the end of your life.  You are the master of you life right now and you get to decide what you want to do. That is truly empowerment.  

But taking the steps to walk away from a life that is not fulfilling is hard and it is scary.  That is where a coach can be very support and give you another set of eyes to see things differently.  To see different ways of being and living and loving.

So I want to offer you who are reading this newsletter and to someone you know who is having difficulty in the place they are in right now.